Memorable Lines from Hitchhiker's Guide to Galaxy-2

Here is a list of awesome one-liners from H2G2-2 which is: The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

1.There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
   There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

2."A personal friend?" inquired the Vogon, who had heard the expression somewhere once and decided to try it out.
   "Ah, no," said Halfrunt, "in my profession you know, we do not make personal friends."
   "Ah," grunted the Vogon, "professional detachment."
  "No," said Halfrunt cheerfully, "we just don't have the knack."

3."Concentrate," hissed Zaphod, "on his name."
   "What is it?" asked Arthur.
   "Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth."
   "What?"
   "Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth. Concentrate!"
   "The Fourth?"
   "Yeah. Listen, I'm Zaphod Beeblebrox, my father was Zaphod
   Beeblebrox the Second, my grandfather Zaphod Beeblebrox the Third..."
   "What?"
   "There was an accident with a contraceptive and a time machine.
   Now concentrate!"


4. Life is wasted on the living.

5."If you ever find you need help again, you know, if you're in trouble, need a hand out of a tight corner ..."
   "Yeah?"
   "Please don't hesitate to get lost."

6. "The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate."

7. "Who are you?"
    "Zaphod Beeblebrox"
    "The Zaphod Beeblebrox?"
    "No, just a Zaphod Beeblebrox, didn't you hear I come in six packs?"

8."Beeblebrox, over here!" he shouted.
    Zaphod eyed him with distrust as another bomb blast rocked the building.
    "No," called Zaphod, "Beeblebrox over here! Who are you?"

9."If I ever meet myself," said Zaphod, "I'll hit myself so hard I won't know what's hit me."

10.The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy notes that the term "Future Perfect" has been abandoned since it was discovered not to be.

11.Most readers get as far as the Future Semi-Conditionally Modified Subinverted Plagal Past Subjunctive Intentional before giving up: and in fact in later editions of the book all the pages beyond this point have been left blank to save on printing costs.

12. .......in which he proves that the whole fabric of the space-time continuum is not merely curved, it is in fact totally bent.

13."But what about the End of the Universe? We'll miss the big moment."
     "I've seen it. It's rubbish," said Zaphod, "nothing but a gnab gib."
     "A what?"
     "Opposite of a big bang. Come on, let's get zappy."

14. Like every car park in the Galaxy throughout the entire history of car parks, this car park smelt predominantly of impatience.

15."Out," he said. People who can supply that amount of fire power don't need to supply verbs as well.

16.Number Two's eyes narrowed and became what are known in the Shouting and Killing People trade as cold slits, the idea presumably being to give your opponent the impression that you have lost your glasses or are having difficulty keeping awake. Why this is frightening is an, as yet, unresolved problem.

Memorable lines from Hitchhiker's Guide to Galaxy-1

1. Bypasses are devices which allow some people to drive from point A to point B very fast whilst other people dash from point B to point A very fast. People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people of point B are so keen to get there, and what's so  great about point B that so many people of point A are so keen to get there. They often wish that people would  just once and for all work out where the hell they wanted to be.

2.He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.

3.Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

4.The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.

5.His father eventually died of shame, which is still a terminal disease in some parts of the Galaxy.

6.Here is what to do if you want to get a lift from a Vogon: forget it.

7.Clinching proof of the non-existence of God.
      "The argument goes something like this: `I refuse to prove that I exist,' says God, `for proof denies faith,
and without faith I am nothing.'   "`But,' says Man, `The Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED.' "`Oh dear,' says God, `I hadn't thought of that,' and promptly vanished in a puff of logic. "`Oh, that was easy,' says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.

8."I don't want to die now!" he yelled. "I've still got a headache! I don't want to go to heaven with a headache, I'd be all cross and wouldn't enjoy it!"

9."it's at times like this I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young." "Why, what did she tell you?" "I don't know, I didn't listen."

10."So this is it," said Arthur, "we're going to die." "Yes," said Ford, "except ... no! Wait a minute!" he suddenly lunged across the chamber at something behind Arthur's line of vision. "What's this switch?" he cried. "What? Where?" cried Arthur twisting round. "No, I was only fooling," said Ford, "we are going to die after all."

11.A computer chatted to itself in alarm as it noticed an airlock open and close itself for no apparent reason. This was because Reason was in fact out to lunch.

12."Hell, I'm relieved to hear you say that," said Ford.
   "Why?"
   "Because I thought I must be going mad."
   "Perhaps you are. Perhaps you only thought I said it."

13."Life," said Marvin dolefully, "loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it."

14.What is your name, human?"
     "Dent. Arthur Dent," said Arthur.
     "Hello, Dentarthurdent,"

15.I always think that the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say hang the sense of it and just keep yourself occupied.

16."What's up?"
      "I don't know," said Marvin, "I've never been there."

17."Do you have ... er, an answer to Everything? To the great Question of Life, the Universe and Everything?"
     "Yes."
      "And you're ready to give it to us?" urged Loonquawl.

      "I am. Though I don't think," added Deep Thought, "that you're going to like it."
      "Doesn't matter!" said Phouchg. "We must know it! Now!"
      "Alright," said the computer.
      "You're really not going to like it," observed Deep Thought.
      "Tell us!"
      "Alright," said Deep Thought. "The Answer to the Great Question Of Life, the Universe and Everything ...is ..." said Deep Thought, and paused.
     "Yes ...!"
     "Is ..."
     "Yes ...!!!...?"
     "Forty-two," said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.(This is my absolute favorite)
These are only the one-liners where a context is not needed to appreciate it completely.

The Complete Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

I have never come across such an insane book. I now understand why it was such a smash hit worldwide and particularly among the teenagers at the time of its radio broadcasts because it is so imaginative and very very(write as many number of 'very's you want) funny. The book isn't about the plot. The plot is just a mask to bring out the awesome one-liners. You never know where the story is going but frankly you don't care! The constant references to the vast universe and the triviality of life is so exciting! I am still in the process of completing the series but couldn't resist talking about it. I think why it clicks so much is because it is not only funny but couples it with amazing imagination and talks about 'The Life, Universe and Everything' ;). The whole mood is so up-lifting and takes the series to a much higher level.
        It is true that I found it a bit boring at some places mainly because the story is not gripping and bores you after a while. But it is worth reading for the crazy, wild and insane dialogues. I am thoroughly enjoying reading it and strongly recommend it to everyone. To further stress my point, I will soon come up with another post with a compilation of some of the best dialogues from the book which made me crack-up a lot.
        I rate it 4/5 for entertaining me so much.