Here is a list of awesome one-liners from H2G2-2 which is: The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.
1.There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
2."A personal friend?" inquired the Vogon, who had heard the expression somewhere once and decided to try it out.
"Ah, no," said Halfrunt, "in my profession you know, we do not make personal friends."
"Ah," grunted the Vogon, "professional detachment."
"No," said Halfrunt cheerfully, "we just don't have the knack."
3."Concentrate," hissed Zaphod, "on his name."
"What is it?" asked Arthur.
"Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth."
"What?"
"Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth. Concentrate!"
"The Fourth?"
"Yeah. Listen, I'm Zaphod Beeblebrox, my father was Zaphod
Beeblebrox the Second, my grandfather Zaphod Beeblebrox the Third..."
"What?"
"There was an accident with a contraceptive and a time machine.
Now concentrate!"
4. Life is wasted on the living.
5."If you ever find you need help again, you know, if you're in trouble, need a hand out of a tight corner ..."
"Yeah?"
"Please don't hesitate to get lost."
6. "The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate."
7. "Who are you?"
"Zaphod Beeblebrox"
"The Zaphod Beeblebrox?"
"No, just a Zaphod Beeblebrox, didn't you hear I come in six packs?"
8."Beeblebrox, over here!" he shouted.
Zaphod eyed him with distrust as another bomb blast rocked the building.
"No," called Zaphod, "Beeblebrox over here! Who are you?"
9."If I ever meet myself," said Zaphod, "I'll hit myself so hard I won't know what's hit me."
10.The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy notes that the term "Future Perfect" has been abandoned since it was discovered not to be.
11.Most readers get as far as the Future Semi-Conditionally Modified Subinverted Plagal Past Subjunctive Intentional before giving up: and in fact in later editions of the book all the pages beyond this point have been left blank to save on printing costs.
12. .......in which he proves that the whole fabric of the space-time continuum is not merely curved, it is in fact totally bent.
13."But what about the End of the Universe? We'll miss the big moment."
"I've seen it. It's rubbish," said Zaphod, "nothing but a gnab gib."
"A what?"
"Opposite of a big bang. Come on, let's get zappy."
14. Like every car park in the Galaxy throughout the entire history of car parks, this car park smelt predominantly of impatience.
15."Out," he said. People who can supply that amount of fire power don't need to supply verbs as well.
16.Number Two's eyes narrowed and became what are known in the Shouting and Killing People trade as cold slits, the idea presumably being to give your opponent the impression that you have lost your glasses or are having difficulty keeping awake. Why this is frightening is an, as yet, unresolved problem.
1.There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
2."A personal friend?" inquired the Vogon, who had heard the expression somewhere once and decided to try it out.
"Ah, no," said Halfrunt, "in my profession you know, we do not make personal friends."
"Ah," grunted the Vogon, "professional detachment."
"No," said Halfrunt cheerfully, "we just don't have the knack."
3."Concentrate," hissed Zaphod, "on his name."
"What is it?" asked Arthur.
"Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth."
"What?"
"Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth. Concentrate!"
"The Fourth?"
"Yeah. Listen, I'm Zaphod Beeblebrox, my father was Zaphod
Beeblebrox the Second, my grandfather Zaphod Beeblebrox the Third..."
"What?"
"There was an accident with a contraceptive and a time machine.
Now concentrate!"
4. Life is wasted on the living.
5."If you ever find you need help again, you know, if you're in trouble, need a hand out of a tight corner ..."
"Yeah?"
"Please don't hesitate to get lost."
6. "The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate."
7. "Who are you?"
"Zaphod Beeblebrox"
"The Zaphod Beeblebrox?"
"No, just a Zaphod Beeblebrox, didn't you hear I come in six packs?"
8."Beeblebrox, over here!" he shouted.
Zaphod eyed him with distrust as another bomb blast rocked the building.
"No," called Zaphod, "Beeblebrox over here! Who are you?"
9."If I ever meet myself," said Zaphod, "I'll hit myself so hard I won't know what's hit me."
10.The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy notes that the term "Future Perfect" has been abandoned since it was discovered not to be.
11.Most readers get as far as the Future Semi-Conditionally Modified Subinverted Plagal Past Subjunctive Intentional before giving up: and in fact in later editions of the book all the pages beyond this point have been left blank to save on printing costs.
12. .......in which he proves that the whole fabric of the space-time continuum is not merely curved, it is in fact totally bent.
13."But what about the End of the Universe? We'll miss the big moment."
"I've seen it. It's rubbish," said Zaphod, "nothing but a gnab gib."
"A what?"
"Opposite of a big bang. Come on, let's get zappy."
14. Like every car park in the Galaxy throughout the entire history of car parks, this car park smelt predominantly of impatience.
15."Out," he said. People who can supply that amount of fire power don't need to supply verbs as well.
16.Number Two's eyes narrowed and became what are known in the Shouting and Killing People trade as cold slits, the idea presumably being to give your opponent the impression that you have lost your glasses or are having difficulty keeping awake. Why this is frightening is an, as yet, unresolved problem.
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