1. Bypasses are devices which allow some people to drive from point A to point B very fast whilst other people dash from point B to point A very fast. People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people of point B are so keen to get there, and what's so great about point B that so many people of point A are so keen to get there. They often wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell they wanted to be.
2.He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.
3.Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
4.The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
5.His father eventually died of shame, which is still a terminal disease in some parts of the Galaxy.
6.Here is what to do if you want to get a lift from a Vogon: forget it.
7.Clinching proof of the non-existence of God.
"The argument goes something like this: `I refuse to prove that I exist,' says God, `for proof denies faith,
and without faith I am nothing.' "`But,' says Man, `The Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED.' "`Oh dear,' says God, `I hadn't thought of that,' and promptly vanished in a puff of logic. "`Oh, that was easy,' says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.
8."I don't want to die now!" he yelled. "I've still got a headache! I don't want to go to heaven with a headache, I'd be all cross and wouldn't enjoy it!"
9."it's at times like this I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young." "Why, what did she tell you?" "I don't know, I didn't listen."
10."So this is it," said Arthur, "we're going to die." "Yes," said Ford, "except ... no! Wait a minute!" he suddenly lunged across the chamber at something behind Arthur's line of vision. "What's this switch?" he cried. "What? Where?" cried Arthur twisting round. "No, I was only fooling," said Ford, "we are going to die after all."
11.A computer chatted to itself in alarm as it noticed an airlock open and close itself for no apparent reason. This was because Reason was in fact out to lunch.
12."Hell, I'm relieved to hear you say that," said Ford.
"Why?"
"Because I thought I must be going mad."
"Perhaps you are. Perhaps you only thought I said it."
13."Life," said Marvin dolefully, "loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it."
14.What is your name, human?"
"Dent. Arthur Dent," said Arthur.
"Hello, Dentarthurdent,"
15.I always think that the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say hang the sense of it and just keep yourself occupied.
16."What's up?"
"I don't know," said Marvin, "I've never been there."
17."Do you have ... er, an answer to Everything? To the great Question of Life, the Universe and Everything?"
"Yes."
"And you're ready to give it to us?" urged Loonquawl.
"I am. Though I don't think," added Deep Thought, "that you're going to like it."
"Doesn't matter!" said Phouchg. "We must know it! Now!"
"Alright," said the computer.
"You're really not going to like it," observed Deep Thought.
"Tell us!"
"Alright," said Deep Thought. "The Answer to the Great Question Of Life, the Universe and Everything ...is ..." said Deep Thought, and paused.
"Yes ...!"
"Is ..."
"Yes ...!!!...?"
"Forty-two," said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.(This is my absolute favorite)
These are only the one-liners where a context is not needed to appreciate it completely.
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